Today, I begin Round 2 of the physical and chemical battle against this cancer. Actually, my mom is right. It’s not really my battle. The battle belongs to the Lord. I just have to be still and watch him work.
As I set out today, I am in awe of how light this burden feels.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matt 11:28-30)
Thank you, Jesus.
In addition to the gift of His supernatural peace, I am convinced that it is YOU He is working through to lighten my load.
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2) My friends, you’ve lightened my load.
I copied this next paragraph (and didn’t change the use of bold text either) from an e-mail I sent to our church family on January 5th, long before setting up this caringbridge site:
“I cannot explain this feeling, but I believe that God is at work and is going to perform a miracle. He is STILL able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine. I do not know why our family is “under attack” if it is, but I believe that what God is doing in our situation is bigger than me. This story is not about my faith, or Brian’s faith – it is about the power of God made manifest in the unity of the church; in the love that believers have for each other. God is moving in you and working through you.”
I had no idea of how big God was going to make this, of how far and wide He would spread this story; of the myriad ways that I would be shown love.
Today, as I begin round 2, I have:
-inspiration from the book “Jesus Calling”- thanks to Lisa
-new comfortable lounging clothes- thanks to the Petty sisters
-I’ve washed my hair with Nioxin and will be putting baking soda on it to help prevent hair loss – thanks to Amber, mom, the Sears, and Stacey
-green tea to combat nausea – thanks to Marcia, Janina, and Becky
– a freezer stocked with smoothies, frozen lemonade cups, and other nausea-friendly foods – thanks to Debbie and Vanessa and others
-beautiful springtime flowers to look at – thanks to Brooke and my “kingdom seeker” family
-new entertainment for my boys – thanks to “the fair ladies,” Jenny, Francie, and others
– an iPad ready to help pass the time today – thanks to the “Believers”
– a beautiful hand-knitted prayer shawl to keep me warm and filled with prayers – thanks to Francie and others
– a cute new bag to carry all my stuff in – thanks to my “PT gang”
– awesome music to “pump me up” – thanks to Rebecca, Courtney, Alison, Matthew West, and others
– a website full of encouraging messages to read while I’m sitting in chemo
Oh, I could go on and on. I know I’ve omitted some, and I truly don’t want to sound boastful, and this is not about STUFF.
But this is about YOU. What YOU are doing. Rather, what God is doing in you. These are just some of the tangible ways you’ve shown love. The intangible ways, the prayers, those are countless.
I say again, I believe God wants to show His power in this situation, and He already IS! He is showing the power of UNITY, of LOVE. YOU all are amazing and YOUR response to me is miraculous.
For some reason, God has allowed our story to be the rallying point, but this is about THE RALLY.
(Those of you present at BWH for the women’s prayer time that long ago Friday know what I’m talking about. You can’t deny it. )
To put it more concretely: this website, and its escalating visit counter up there in the corner, is about the guestbook, not the journal posts.
I wish I could tell every story that I’ve been told of how God is working and moving among you.
This morning, I just want to share the stories from one dear, precious friend. She emphasized to me that she’s never before experienced anything like these two situations.
(Her name has been changed at her request.)
Suzy told me that after hearing news that I was having serious medical issues (this was the day after our ER visit), she was awakened that night at 3 am to the sound of the most joyful baby laughter. She has an 8 month old little boy, but he was sound asleep. And she also said it was obvious that the laughter was from a baby girl. Suzy told me, “Sara, I wish I could describe to you just how happy this laughter sounded. I believe it was Anna, and she was waking me up to pray for you at that hour.”
Suzy also told me that she set her watch alarm to pray for me that Friday of my first oncologist appointment. She said she’d been praying “like crazy” all week long, but wanted to deliberately pray at the same time I was meeting with the doctor. She said she got on her knees to pray, had barely started, when she had this clear thought in her head: “Suzy, I’ve got this.” She believes God spoke to her in that moment. And she’s never experienced that before.
My friends, my family in Jesus – He’s got this. And He is working in YOU. Keep spreading that love. There are many, many others besides me who need it. YOU ARE AMAZING! God be praised.