It is Wednesday afternoon and this is day 5 after the last round of chemo (I had a treatment on the 12th). I have actually had a shower today, put on normal clothes, fixed my hair, and applied makeup.
(Scott just now walked in the room, after going on an exciting trip to Lowe’s with his Papa, and said, “Oh, you got dressed. Where are you going mommy? Clearly this appearance I now have is not the norm for the past many days.)
I had to lay down on my bed at several intervals during the whole process this morning, so my energy level is only slowly coming back, but it is better today. In the past 5 days I have eaten one quarter of a bagel, two small bowls of cereal, three small containers of jello, and one half piece of toast. Most of that has been consumed in the last 2 days. I am careful to drink as often as I can stand it – mostly gatorade, some ginger ale, and some water. My appetite is not back yet, but I can at least force myself to eat. I couldn’t even really think about food for the first 3 days.
But… the sun is out, Camden is enjoying kindergarten (I will post a picture or two in the photos section for those who asked), and I am feeling better…so enough about that.
Today I am thinking about another way I’ve been changed through all this.
I long for Jesus to return.
My ears strain every moment of the day to hear the trumpet call.
Oh, I’ve always thought it would be nice to go to heaven someday. It would be a pretty nice place. I’d have a bigger house and it would be sunny all the time and I think I will be able to fly, and that’s exciting. But at the same time, I’ve had these thoughts in the past, “Jesus, it would be great if you came back, but I’m really looking forward to this family vacation in the Bahamas next week…or …I’ve worked really hard on this first birthday party, can we please have that first…or…but I really want to see what Stephanie’s baby will look like, can you wait until after he’s born?”
No more. I pray every day for Jesus to come get us. I kinda think it’s doubtful that praying for it is going to make it come any quicker, but it just comes out anyway in my prayers.
This world is so full of pain, injustice, suffering. I hurt for myself of course, but I also hurt for those children starving in Somalia, for those women and children in abusive relationships, the orphans, the crippled…I could go on. My own suffering has opened my eyes to how much suffering is all around me. And I imagine how much it must hurt God, who loves us all more than we can imagine…
So I long for Him to come and make all things right. And I’m thankful for that new longing in my heart.
And now, the life-giving words. Oh, friend, what I’ve typed below is long, but savor every word. Read it slow: the beautiful picture of what is coming, from the mind and mouth of GOD himself, who cannot lie, these are GOD’s words…
from Revelations 21 and 22:
“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband [can you even imagine what kind of wedding planner God must be?!?!?]. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying,
[oooh, this is good, wait for it…]
“Now the dwelling of God is with men, and He will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
“He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” (The exclamation point is in the Bible. Even GOD is excited about it!)
“He said to me, “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty, I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. He who overcomes all this will inherit all this, and I will be his God, and he will be my son [or daughter].
” ‘Come, I will show you the bride, the wife of the Lamb’. And he…showed me the Holy City, Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God. It shone with the glory of God and its brilliance was like that of a very precious jewel, like a jasper, clear as crystal. It had a great, high wall with twelve gates, and with twelve angels at the gates.”
“I did not see a temple in the city, because the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are its temple. The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp…On no day will its gates ever be shut, for there is no night there. The glory and honor of the nations will be brought into it. Nothing impure will ever enter it…”
“Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, I flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and His servants will serve him. They will see His face, and His name will be on their foreheads.”
“The angel said to me, ‘These words are trustworthy and true.”
PRAISE THE LORD. IT IS TRUE. IT IS ALL TRUE.
Come, Lord Jesus!!