I was at a baby shower last night, surrounded mostly by women I didn’t know, and I was asked, “So, Sara, tell me about the new website? What is it? What’s it about?”
A hush fell over the room.
Ok, it probably didn’t but it sure felt like it.
I was momentarily dumbfounded. I still find it extremely odd to find out that total “strangers” know all about me and what’s going on in my life. It astounds me. ASTOUNDS me. Little, shy, previously invisible Sara.
And again God whispers, “With me ALL things are possible.”
Once I got over the shock of finding out that most of the women (super fun, Godly women, by the way) in the room had been following this blog, I think I stammered out something fairly unintelligible that included the phrases, “new perspective,” “transformed by the renewing of the mind,” “living the abundant life,” yadda yadda. It was definitely more a Moses the Stutterer moment than a Peter on Pentecost moment.
I was frustrated with myself the rest of the night.
Yes, what are you doing, Sara? You better have a better answer than that next time.
Truth is, I’m not exactly sure. I’m just taking the next step on a path that I believe God is dictating.
And God whispers, “This is about me, Sara. This is not about what you’re doing. It is about what I’m doing. You are only to point to Me.”
I have realized a few things:
1. God has given me a new perspective, a new way of looking at this everyday, ordinary life.
2. God has given me a gift of writing. (Or so many of you tell me. I’m not sure I’m convinced, but I’m trying to use it anyway.)
4. God has given me a voice, an audience. It makes no sense why so many have been drawn to my words here. It makes about as much sense as choosing uneducated fisherman to spread the gospel. Or choosing Moses the stutterer to go before Pharoah. Or choosing little shepherd David to be a great king.
I still remember the day and the moment this idea of my own website first came to me. I could think of little else for several hours. My mind raced with the possibilities. I came home and spoke about it with Brian. Brian, my logical, practical husband. I expected to get lots of questions, lots of doubt about the realistic-ness (I’m sure that’s not a word) of my plan. That’s Brian’s nature. Instead, he was quietly but instantly supportive. Not overly enthusiastic in a whatever-you-want-to-make-you-happy-instead-of-depressed way. But in a confident, logical, realistic way.
So I started praying. I prayed, “Alright God, if this is what you want, please bring it about. I don’t know the first thing about how to do this. I don’t even know who to ask for help. You need to send someone to me so I can know it is of You.”
And He did just that.
So I plan to continue. To write to you about this new, more focused way of looking at life, at living in the moment. To write the words that God places on my heart.
And the new website is my temple. Just as David longed to do, I want to build a space where God can abide. I want to create a space where we can experience God’s presence, where we can sing His praises, where we can marvel at His deeds. A place where our minds can breathe and our souls can soar. A place where we can drink deeply of what is good, what is noble, what is true, what is honorable, what is right. A place where we can encourage each other to remember this is not home, and where we can talk longingly of Real Home. A place we can spur one another on to good works, a place that we can seek to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. A place of joy, humor, transparency, a place to find the ABUNDANT LIFE.
If God will be there, then I believe it needs to be beautiful; it needs to be done well and it needs to be done right.
So Brian Holaway and Tim and Holli Dilks, they are my Bezalel and Oholiab (Exodus 35:30-36:2). God sent them to me in answer to my prayer. They are skilled in all things INTERNET, and are crafting a beautiful, welcoming space on the web with their special, God-given talents.
If it is of God, it will succeed.
If it is of God, then He will dictate what success is. If it is just one life made more holy, then it will have been worth it.
If it is of God, then who knows how big it could get. God has already exceeded my expectations in every possible way.
Shy Sara trembles, but steps out anyway.
I take a breath, I pray, and I step out.