February 2

Alright, 24 hours of chemo treatment is in the books. I certainly don’t feel 100% but I’m sure it could be much worse. I’m making it. More on that in a minute.

Hooray, the sun is shining outside my window. Thank you, my loving Father!

Thanks for putting up with my attempts at humor. When you grow up with the last name of Pigg, you just can’t take yourself too seriously and you learn to crack the jokes first. 🙂

Putting a link here that some of you may not have seen. 

Thanks to the great idea of my friend who wishes to remain anonymous, we got to do this photo session on a beautiful day last weekend. I am so thankful we did this, so thankful for Chesley sharing her gift, and as I’ve already said – I’m praying God keeps me in pictures like these for years and years to come.

I have so many things that I want to share on these journal entries that I have a list going so I can spread it out. I am amazed that anyone reads it at all, but I pray God is strengthening your hearts too in some way as you read. And also making you smile.

I want to take a minute today and talk about how Brian and my sweet boys are doing. I know many, if not most, of you come here because of your great love for them, and this trial in our lives is certainly not one that is only affecting me.

As I talk about Brian, I’ll try not to gush but I can’t promise not to cry. And I know I’m going to contradict what I said yesterday, but Brian IS amazing! 🙂 He is in NO ways ordinary! It may not be as evident because he doesn’t pour out his heart ad nauseum like I do (that’s a little punny, huh?), but that man is made of the strongest stuff there is. Many of you ask me, “How’s Brian doing?” My answer is always, he seems to be doing just fine. And when I ask him, that’s what he says. He says, “As long as you’re ok, I’m ok.” But that’s not really accurate. Because, when I’m not ok, he’s still strong. He reminds me of all the reasons for hope. And I never have to do that for him. He is working extremely hard right now because, you see, this is his busiest/hardest time of year at work right now (Jan- March). But he comes home at 8 pm at night with a smile on his face and plays hard with our boys, since I haven’t been able to be really active with them. He is just tireless. He gets up early in the morning and finishes up work, or pays bills, or stays up-to-date on our insurance coverage, until the boys get up and he helps them go potty, find some breakfast, etc, if I’m still in bed, which is often the case. He prays with me and for me at night and they are the most beautiful prayers I have ever heard. (Now, I’m crying.) He is my rock and my treasure and he is just about near perfect in my book.  Please pray for him to stay strong and for work to get a little easier.

The boys are doing great also. They understand that Mommy is sick and they have to be gentle with me right now, especially with my “button” giving me medicine to feel better. I showed it all to them yesterday and explained that the machine was sending medicine inside me and it was going to help me not be sick anymore. I explained we had to be careful with the machine and the tubing. They paid close attention but then were back to their normal playing selves when we were done. My sweet Scott is fascinated by the port, and he frequently comes and gently pulls my pajamas over just enough to check on it. He looks intently at it for several seconds, then smiles at me. I ask him if it looks ok, and he says yes, and I tell him “Thank you for checking it for me.” They said the sweetest prayers for me last night. Camden prayed, “Please help Mommy’s medicine to work and make her not sick anymore.” Scott prayed after Camden and said, “Please help Mommy’s milk (Scott’s a big fan of milk and I’m pretty sure he would love the idea of IV milk infusion), I mean Mommy’s medicine to not choke her and to make her feel good.” Guess he saw some potential for strangulation with the long tubing. And as I tried to sleep last night I figured he just may be right!

So, now a brief update on how I’m feeling – right, like I can be brief. I don’t know how detailed I should be here. I guess I’ll say it’s gone past the point of nausea on two occasions so far (once at 1:30 am last night and again around 10:30 this morning). I slept about 4 hours all together last night (two separate 2-hour stints) and had about an hour nap this morning. I don’t want to eat anything but I’m eating what I can. Working on a yummy Smoothie King smoothie right now, but I’ve also gotten some other solids down fine. So, at this point, I’m tired, a little achy in my back, and moderately nauseated, but really can’t complain too much. I’m thankful it’s not worse, though I realize it may get worse before it gets better. I think about Brian and my boys. I tell myself I can do this for them. I’m visualizing the drugs zapping all those bad cells and making them vanish into thin air.   If I feel a little twinge of pain in my liver region, I force myself to think: “Alright, a bunch of bad cancer cells just got creamed!”

Well, so many more thoughts rumbling around in my brain, but that’s a plenty for today, huh? Kudos to you if you’ve actually read it all!

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