I am in the middle of my 12th round of chemotherapy today. I am writing this post from my parents’ couch, with my Gatorade close by as well as a heating pad under my back, and a trash can and towel close by as well. So far I’ve had no need for the trashcan and for that I am thankful. I know many have told me they are praying for milder side effects this round, and so far that seems to be the case.
I don’t have energy to write much today, but I want to tell you that your prayers for my good days are carrying me through, by the grace of God. Last week I was able to exercise on our great yard sale find elliptical on 4 different days, for 20-30 minutes each time. I was also able to do 10 minutes of basic core strengthening exercises that I have taught patients for years on 5 days. This was so good for me emotionally. The boys and I had several playmates with lots of friends, and all 4 of us Walkers had some great quality family time together.
Monday night this week, just after getting in bed for the night, I again began weeping, knowing what the next day would hold. My precious husband listened to my heartaches and fears, and then said exactly what I needed to hear and be reminded of. His is an unshakable faith that I envy.
Yesterday morning as I sat waiting for an hour and a half for my chemo to begin (they were apparently overbooked), I began weeping again. It was so embarrassing, sitting amongst a roomful of cancer patients who are so brave. But then God put three strong, faith-filled women in that room with me that afternoon, two of whom have cancer, who initiated conversation with me and reminded me of God’s great power. They spoke (actually I think the Spirit spoke) straight to my doubts and forgetful heart. Thank you, Lord, for that gift.
I am scheduled for my next CT scan on Wednesday, August 10th. By God’s great mercy, this allows us to take a beach trip on the days we’d planned to, and then I am scheduled for the next chemo on the 12th, which again by His mercy allows me to be the one to take Camden for his first day of school.
My prayer remains bold- that all signs of cancer will have disappeared when they take images of my abdomen again. My God is able, so able.
I appreciate your prayers more than I can put into words.