Categories: Caring Bridge Journal
God’s timing is amazing.
Mid-2010: Started praying this prayer: God, let me make a difference for you that is utterly disproportionate to who I am. Everything about this site proves that He has answered.
December 6, 2010: My 7th wedding anniversary and the day I delivered my beautiful 38-week stillborn daughter, Anna.
January 20, 2011: My 33rd birthday and the day I was diagnosed with cancer.
December 2, 2011: The day of my blood tranfusion and the day the Lord allowed me to start making my “comeback.”
December 4, 2011: Anna’s balloon release, when I felt better and had more energy than I’d had in weeks.
December 7, 2011: The birth of my niece, Anna Darby; the day after the one-year mark of our family’s nightmare year. A blessing in the form of a new life, a new beginning.
Mid-December 2011: Continued to gain energy – able to attend the boys’ Christmas parties, able to shop for my family, able to enjoy the pre-Christmas excitement and anticipation!
Christmas 2011: Joyous, thankful time with family and friends. Cried with my family as we prayed our thanksgivings to God for faithfully bringing us through the most challenging year I can ever remember any of us facing and blessing us with a joyful Christmas day and Dinah’s new baby to boot! Not to mention the announcement from my brother that he and his wife are also expecting a child this year! So much rejoicing after a year of so much heartache!
January 2011: My return to “normal” energy during the month that Brian is at home the least, since this is his “busy season” at work. God allowed me to feel better just in time!
2010-???: God allowing me to go through the most difficult challenges of my life so far at the same time my oldest child is going to kindergarten. In terms of my spiritual growth, I feel sort of like a kindergartener: learning new lessons constantly and being completely absorbed in and fascinated by LEARNING. It’s as if my eyes have only now been opened. I was missing so much before.
Heavenly Father –
I would not have chosen this schooling. Am I that difficult to teach? And am I this slow at learning? But Lord, you have proven time and time again that you know just what you are doing with time. Thank you for bringing me to a point of dailyand full dependence on you, and when I am healed I ask that I not lose that sense of utter dependence. I continue to beg for your mercy. I ask that in your mercy, in spite of the fact that I don’t deserve it, that you will remove this cancer fully and completely, and that you will grant me the miracle of another baby girl; a child whose very existence will be a tangible reminder of your power and love. Those are my heart’s longings and so I lay them at your feet.
Lord God, I trust that your plan is perfect, no matter what it is and whether I like it or not.
King Jesus, seated at God’s right hand, I ask everything in your NAME, which I love above all names.