February 6
Categories: Caring Bridge Journal
GREAT NEWS! GREAT NEWS!
Ok, I cannot get that font big enough.
I have 36% less cancer than I had 9 weeks ago. In just 9 short weeks on these two little medications, over one-third of my cancer is gone. GONE.
I actually like the sound of 50% reduction better, and one of my tumors was reduced by almost half.
I had hoped for stable. I remember someone at the research center saying early on, “We often just see that the cancer is stable at the first scan, but then it goes on to shrink.” Stable, please Lord, just let it have stopped growing.
I am tempted to type out every precious word on this CT scan report, even the ones I don’t understand, but I will try and just hit the highpoints. You more medical people feel free to let me know if I’ve got something wrong.
CT chest: Stable right upper lobe subpleural pulmonary nodule. [This has been showing up on almost every scan and is tiny, hasn’t been growing, and hasn’t changed with this medication, so they seem pretty confident it’s not likely to be metastasis.]…Resolved bibasilar atelectasis, infiltrate [My last scan showed some problems at the base of my lungs. Could have been pneumonia but they also thought it may have been from disuse because breathing deeply caused pain. Regardless, it is now “resolved” – what a beautiful word!]… No new thoracic adenopathy or soft tissue mass [lymph nodes here still good, no new masses to be seen – thank you Jesus!!]…Heart size normal, no pericardial effusion [the last few scans have showed significant pericardial effusion, which you’ll remember led to an emergency echocardiogram in the middle of my blood transfusion in December.]
CT ABDOMEN:
(here’s my favorite sentence of the report)
Decreasing
size
of
multiple
hepatic
lesions
affecting
all
segments.
Did you enjoy every word as much as I did? I am enjoying everyword.
Here’s my second favorite sentence: No new hepatic lesion demonstrated [No new cancerous spots in the liver]
Followed closely by my third: Improving retroperitoneal and mesenteric adenopathy [Shrinkage of the cancer evident in my abdominal lymph nodes as well]
Left hepatic lobe lesion 87 x 46 mm, prior 131 x 71 mm (that was a 5 inch tumor, folks)
Right hepatic lobe lesion 27 x 24 mm, prior 47 x 45 mm
Conclusion:
1. Stable tiny indeterminate pulmonary nodules. [Stable and tiny. I might just name my next child Stable Tiny Walker. Ok, that might not be a good idea.]
2. Decreasing size of hepatic metastases (Love how they use the word “decreasing” instead of “decreased” – yep, I think it’s going to continue too! Decreasing Walker? Nope, probably not good either.)
3. Decreasing size retroperitoneal mesenteric lymph nodes.
4. No new lesion suggestive of metastasis.
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Joshua 3:5 Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.
He has done it again. He has done amazing things again.
Dr. Bendell said it herself, though not giving God the credit.
“These results aren’t good. They are amazing.”
How can I thank you for praying for me? I believe, I KNOW prayer matters. There is limitless power available and subsequently directed by just one faithful child of God praying to Him, and this power is infinitely multiplied by the cries of many. And while God always acts in accordance with His will, we know His “will” is multi-faceted and so His initial plan may be altered by our prayers. I cannot explain this, but I believe with all my heart that it is true. But that is a discussion for another day…
So, while all praise for healing goes to God, our Maker, I remain indescribably thankful to you for beseeching Him in prayer on my behalf.
My Father – I am in awe of your love for me. I am in awe that you care so deeply for this brief whisper of a life here in this fallen world. You have already given me everything. You gave me Jesus. You freely gave me an eternity sharing in Christ’s inheritance, which I have no claim to whatsoever. None! You gave me your Spirit, so that I am never alone. So that I can know a peace through this dark world that defies explanation. How can I ask for more? And yet I have. I have asked that you stretch out your mighty hand and heal this dying body, for a little while longer. I have begged for your mercy and compassion, to allow me to help my husband and raise my sons. You know I long to see you face to face. You know I long for it as I have never longed before. But you also know my love for those boys, a love which you planted in my heart. God, make me fully well and in so doing make your name great. Remind us of your incomparable power, cause us to tremble in fear for a moment again, before we realize with great thanksgiving that you are FOR US, your chosen people. God, who am I, that you should show me such love? I love you, my Father. I trust that all your ways are good and right, and are too wonderful for me to understand. I rest in your wisdom and perfection, your perfect love. I treasure you today, Father, and I thank you for good news. Finally, some good news.
Amen.
